Thoughts on a sunday evening

If we hadn't had the miscarriage, I would be entering my third trimester this week. We would have spent much of our anniversary celebration talking about our baby that would be here in just a couple months-- how excited we are to see what our baby looks like and learn of its gender, how scared we are that we will totally mess it up, how magical it will be to be on this new adventure together. On our anniversary on Thursday we instead may talk about how we wonder with pain and hope when we will become pregnant again, how scared we will be of another miscarrage, and what God's plan in all of this really is. There is NO ONE that I'd rather go through this with than Josh. He is so amazing and I feel abundantly blessed to live life alongside him. On another blog I found the following paragraph, which I think is eloquently and honestly written:

After a miscarriage, you grieve for a person you never knew, and for a relationship that ended before it really began. You grieve not for a person who has lived and died but for an unlived life. You grieve for the loss of your future as the parent of the baby who has died. You are sad not just because of what you have lost but because of what will never be.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.