...and then a miracle occurred...

The idea that a man and woman can have sex and get pregnant is completely foreign to me. It is so natural and common, yet I honestly cannot wrap my mind around it. Our miracle occurred(isn't the above picture funny??) but not without countless doctors appointments, drugs, blood tests, screening follicle ultrasounds, uterine lining measurements, intrauterine inseminations, progesterone supplements, hysterosalpingogram, disappointment, tears, frustration, many, many prayers, etc, etc, etc. But it was all worth it! I am 19 weeks pregnant and Josh and I have both felt baby Docken kick! Amazing!!
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Our first ultrasound was at 6 weeks 6 days (we knew the exact date with confidence due to the above mentioned procedures). We saw a little tiny white line with a flicking light- the heartbeat!! It was .5 cm long and already had a heartbeat of 126 bpm! Incredible! Unfortunately the baby was only measuring 6 weeks 2 days. The u/s tech said not to be concerned, but who was she kidding?? Of course I was concerned. I thought maybe the baby took after its mama and was just on the small side.

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Our next appointment was exactly 3 weeks later. It was supposed to just be our first appt with the OB. Dr. Song checked for the heartbeat on the doppler. She warned me that "we should be able to hear the heartbeat but if not, that doesn't automatically mean you miscarried". Errr, thanks. She tried for several minutes before she gave up. I was laying on the table completely scared. She said, "well, this either means you miscarried again or it's too early". My eyes welled with tears and I fought to keep it together. I told her that I needed to know. Today. She said that she could try to get me in for an emergency u/s, given my history of miscarriage. She wrote a note on a piece of paper that we couldn't find the heartbeat and I had a past miscarriage and asked me to bring it to the front desk. The woman at the front desk said the u/s tech had a full schedule but they would try to get me in. I told her that I would wait all day, I just need to be able to get in. We waited for just about 20 minutes. I concentrated the whole time on not losing it. When we got into the u/s room, the tech put the wand on my stomach and we instantly saw a beating heart. My tears started flowing freely then! It was so amazing. Our little guy/girl had grown so much in 3 weeks! It had little buds for arms and legs and bright white parts that were its nose and chin. We were sooooooo relieved and thankful. What a scary morning but great ending!

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Our third ultrasound was 3 weeks later. It was for an optional NT Scan where they test for down syndrome and trisomy 18. I honestly wasn't worried about either one but just really wanted to have another ultraound! It feels like an eternity between each doctor's appt. This ultrasound was the most amazing one yet. Baby Docken was HUGE (relatively speaking!) and incredibly active! That's the first time I had a feeling about a gender because with dance moves like that, it had to be a little girl! The u/s tech changed to the 4D mode, which was even more surreal! At one point the baby did an acrobatic move and totally flipped from its back to its stomach! The u/s tech needed the baby to lay flat so she could take measurements. The baby would have none of it so she gently pushed on my stomach, which made the baby jump. Ever since Josh saw the baby jump high from just a little push, he has been very protective of my stomach. He always tells me to not push on it and to be gentle. Thanks for the reminder, honey. :) The pictures from this u/s are in a previous post. We felt so in love!

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So there are my three ultrasound stories. I am still writing about previous events because I want to get it all down before I have a chance to forget any of it. Now I need to really stop procrastinating and write my darn paper for grad school. Tonight we're going to Carbones to watch the Vikings defeat the Bears and celebrate Chris' 30th birthday. He and Becky got engaged last Monday! Yay! I am so thrilled for them and for Becky to join our family!

17 weeks 3 days!

Just two weeks and 4 days until we're halfway there! Yesterday we took the day off and Annie came over and we worked hard on the house to get it ready for baby! We cleaned out the future nursery (which was jam packed with crap we hadn't gone through since we moved in a year ago) and the extra bedroom and put everything neatly into labeled plastic tubs. Josh put up shelving in the basement to store the tubs and we removed the wallpaper in the extra bedroom! This weekend I am going to try to paint it. In a couple weeks Josh and I will go shopping for nursery furniture!

Ahh it is still hard for me to understand or believe that this is actually happening. I can't wrap my mind around the idea that we (God willing) will have a baby in our house in 5 months! Slava Bogu!

Hope

Some Sunday night thoughts on "hope"... when I should instead be writing my paper on Business Ethics!

Hope is strong. There is power in hope and remaining hopeful even when it feels useless.

I am thinking of our family and friends and praying that you are granted what you hope for. Especially one of you... you know who you are... I pray that tomorrow you receive the news you hope for.

Some powerful quotes on Hope:
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for". Epicurus (341 BC - 270 BC)

"Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have". H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 5:13

A dear, dear friend of mine...sister, really, is named Jessica Hope Marty (err, McAllister, but I will always think of her as Marty). Her mom, my dear Godmother Cindy, had four precious boys and hoped for a girl in her fifth pregnancy. When she was born, Cindy and Paul named her Jessica HOPE because they had hoped and prayed for her. What a blessing I think it is for Jessica to always be reminded that she was hoped for!

Have a great week! Josh and I are really looking forward to taking this Wednesday off to work on our house! We have a lot of stuff to do before the baby comes!

Something to think about

I keep thinking about something our Pastor said last Sunday. The past couple of weeks, much of the "sermon" (different than most sermons..ours is a 45 minute teaching with real world application that is based on biblical truth) was about the election. I thought that was great.

Pastor Bill said that he had talked to many people of faith between Nov 4th and last sunday that had strong emotions regarding the election of Obama. He talked to some believers that felt absolutely euphoric that Obama was elected... they still hadn't come home from the party yet. He also talked to some believers that were absolutely angry that Obama was elected.

He said, "Both reactions from believers, from people of faith, are overly exaggerated and inappropriate. The same God that was on the throne Tuesday morning was on the throne Wednesday morning".

What a great reminder. God was not surprised by the results of the election; God is not wondering how Barack will change the United States; God does not feel threatened or overjoyed with a Democratic majority; because He is in control. Amen to that.

The first couple weeks

The first couple weeks of the pregnancy were full of ups and downs, but mostly ups. When we had the miscarriage, part of me was worried that I would be absolutely terrified the next time I was pregnant and part of me felt that I would be peaceful because I survived a miscarriage once and if it happened again, I knew God would carry me through it. A few days after we learned we were expecting, I went to a wedding shower for my dear friend Katie Gersch. At the shower another dear childhood (and adulthood!) friend, Amy Hanson, asked me how everything was going. She was so excited when I told her we were expecting and after I told her I felt very nervous she said to me, "Whitney.. God is Sovereign!!". He is! Whenever I felt nervous, I remembered those words and felt better. This is God's child. He gives. He takes away.
And through it all, He is sovereign.

The first beta came back at 93 (I know that doesn't mean anything to the majority of you but I am using this blog as a journal so I can remember in the future). My second beta was two days later. The hcG is supposed to double every 48-72 hours. My first and second beta were 41 hours apart, and the beta exactly doubled to 186. Coincidence?? Probably not. My third beta was 4 days later and it had more than doubled twice. It felt great to be on the right track!

We told Josh's family about the baby at the State Fair on August 23rd. We had just walked out of the birthing center where we saw incredibly pregnant cows, pigs, and newborn little animals. Josh turned to his family and said, "Well.. that was fitting because we are expecting TOO!!". "Too?!?!" "No! Also!! He meant 'also'!". After we told them that our due date was April 27th, just 9 days after Heather and Sean's wedding in Wisconsin, Sean told me that they have hospitals in Wisconsin and they can decorate the room in purple so the baby doesn't come out a Packer fan.

Here are a couple belly pictures!

12 weeks

14 weeks 1 day