Tough night

Last night was a tough night.  In fact, it might be have my toughest night yet as a mom.  Max decided to stop eating.  The little boy that already is getting a chunky tummy because he eats all the time just up and decided to stop!  He didn't eat from 6PM yesterday evening until 5AM this morning.  He was up screaming for most of the night.  He was rooting and acting very hungry, as I'm sure he was, but he just wouldn't eat- he'd only scream.  Finally at 4AM I handed him off to Josh (who returned to work today), found my pump, and pumped for my first time since last spring.  And at 5AM I broke down sobbing.   To want to nurse your starving, screaming baby, and not be able to, and have no idea why, is just a horrible, horrible feeling.   I caved, found a new bottle, boiled a pot of water to sanitize the nipple, warmed up my expressed milk, and fed him a bottle.  He took the bottle immediately. It obviously wasn't my milk that was the problem because he drank the same milk from the bottle.  At 7AM today I tried nursing again, and again he refused, so I gave him another bottle.  Annie came and got Claire for me because I was simply exhausted, emotionally and physically, and needed to be able to focus on getting feeding back on track today.  I tried again at 9AM and he nursed!!!  I was so happy!  He has been sleeping since then so I'm crossing my fingers he'll wake up soon and nurse again. 

The only reason I can think of for his nursing strike is the pacifier we introduced a couple days ago.  He's been an excellent nurser from day 1, so this is the only thing I can think of that would have made a difference.  He really loves the paci and it helps him calm down and sleep, both during the day and at night, so it's a shame to take it away, but if it means getting nursing back on track, then I'll gladly do it. 

Two positives to be thankful for is that Claire didn't wake up once during all of Max's screaming last night and she slept until 7:20 this morning, when she has been getting up around 5:30AM! 

Today is Josh's first day back at work and we're really missing him.  I'm glad it's a short week.  And I'm so thankful for the three weeks that we had together.