The post in which I (once again) complain about (the lack of) sleeping.

Somehow, reminding myself that I "will sleep again someday" isn't really cutting it after four consecutive nights of getting up with Max FIVE times each night.  I know I shouldn't complain.  But I'm going to, for two reasons.  One, so in case in a few years I (still) want a third child and Josh (still) wants just two, I can look back on this and remember a reason for not having more babies.  Two, so when Max is finally sleeping through the night, I can look back and see how far we have come.

I am really at a loss for what to do.  I am praying that it is just a long growth spurt. But he doesn't act like he's in the middle of a growth spurt during the day, so I kind of doubt it.  Babies, like everyone else, wake up during the night due to the natural sleep cycles.  The trick is teaching them how to fall back asleep on their own.  Once Claire learned how to do this, her sleep drastically improved.  When Max wakes up, he can't fall back asleep because he's SO PISSED OFF that he's swaddled up.  But when I try to unswaddle him, he wakes up even more frequently because his arms flail around and wake him up.  What's a mama to do????

Further complicating the issue is that he has decided he's anti-pacifier at night (not during the day, just at night).  If you try to give it to him, his little tongue will furiously shove it out.  I have been feeding him three times a night.  The other two times, I try to just give him his paci and pat his tummy, while still laying in bed, but since he's on a paci-strike, it's not that easy.  We have to get up, shush him, rock him, etc etc.  Josh has been great at trying to help out but most of the work rests on me since I'm nursing and his basinnet is next to my side of the bed.

The icing on the cake is that he also won't let me drink any caffiene during the day. Not even half of a can of coke. It keeps him up for HOURS.  So I just walk around like a zombie.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, a heart of thankfulness for this little miracle boy, and optimism for the future.  He's so stinkin' precious and a most amazing blessing.  In the meantime, I'm praying for him to sleep, for me to sleep, for patience, for energy, and for it not to affect how I operate at work or how I act towards Josh or Claire.

Okay, complaining over. :) 

A Great Day

Yesterday was a great day.  Mostly because I was home with my lovies.  We went to the Zoo in the morning with Ami and Everleigh.  We got a blizzard on Sunday and Monday (like, 18 inches worth) so it was nice to be in the tropical climate in the zoo.  Claire and Everleigh had lots of fun running around with each other and looking at the monkeys, fish, birds, and turtles.

I made lasagna in the late afternoon and even had all of the dishes cleaned before Josh got home early from work, due to the snowy roads.

After we enjoyed dinner, Josh was cleaning up the kitchen and I was finishing my Target list as it was grocery shopping night.  Claire doesn't play independently very well yet (meaning, if we're in the kitchen she most likely is too), so when I didn't hear her making any noise, I got suspicious.  It typically means she's getting into trouble.  I peeked into the living room and my heart melted immediately.  Max was laying on his activity mat and had been upset.  She found the two blankets I had used that morning for the walk into the zoo.  She had put one on top of Max, laid down next to him, and then placed one on top of herself. So, so sweet.  Yes, it was a great day.

A shout out to my MAMA

Janeal Rae

My Mama...

Sigh...

If I tried to adequately describe what my mom means to me, I would most certainly fall short.

There's not a single person in my life that I believe deserves happiness more than her.

She has been through so much the past eight years.  Watching her travel that tragic journey makes me feel protective of her.  I only want her to feel joy for the rest of her days. 

My mom is my best friend.

I talk with her every single day.  Josh recently exclaimed, "WHAT do you two possibly talk about every day?!".  Oh, the weather.  What we had for dinner the night before.  Claire and Max.  The Bachelor. Joys and struggles of parenthood.  You name it. 

Claire ADORES her Nana.  If I had a dollar for how many times Claire says, "NANA!" every day, I would be rich.  She wants to call her all the time and grins from ear to ear when she hears her voice. 

Compassion and empathy radiate from her soul.  She is always there for her friends, family, co-workers, neighbors.  When you cry, she will cry with you. When you are happy, she is happy with you.  When you struggle, she will lift you up.  When you strive to reach a goal, she will cheer you on.   Her encouragement has allowed me to become who I am.  Her teachings have shaped me into an independent, strong, humble, honest woman. 

She believes in me, which helps me believe in myself.  With my every accomplishment or struggle, she has been by my side.   

My Mama is SILLY, funny, SMART, gorgeous.  She never takes herself too seriously.  She is full of wisdom.  My mom has overcome and is overcoming.  She loves Jesus with all of her heart.

My mom is fully engaged in our lives but still gives us space.  She has found this perfect balance...and without any stumbles along the way. 

She is an AMAZING cook.  I say that she should be on Top Chef (although I've never seen that show, but it sounds like something she should be on).  She makes us meals all of the time (and just drops them off).  I like that she will try brand new recipes, even on special occasions and when guests are coming.  She's not afraid.  

She is someone people just want to be around.  She leaves you feeling better.  She brings you up, and very rarely (if ever) brings you down. 


She makes me proud. So, so, so proud. 


I can't imagine living a day on this earth without my mom.

To think that, someday, hopefully a very long time from now, I will have to carry on without her, causes me to lose my breath.  I don't know how to live without her.  She makes me a better person.  If 30 years from now, Claire feels for me even close to what I feel for my mom, I will be one of the most loved and cherished Moms on earth. 

I have touched just the very tip of the iceburg when it comes to describing the woman that God has allowed me to call Mom.  I simply can't put into words who my Mama is or the role she plays in my life.  So, Mom, all I can say is... I love you. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love, love, love...... 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Claire's first Valentine's Day

February 14, 2010

Max's first Valentine's Day (a day early) 

February 13, 2011

Max at 3 Months

Max is already three months old!  What a fun little guy this is.  I adore having a little baby around the house again!  When he wakes up during the middle of the night, I struggle getting out of bed, but once I’m rocking him in the chair, it is so sweet and special that I often don’t want to return to bed! 

At 3 months, Max:

·         Is becoming chunky chunky!  I love the rolls on his legs.  He’s wearing size 3-6 month and size 6 month clothing.  His pants need to be large enough to comfortably fit around his tummy but they are usually quite long! 

·         Has three 4 oz bottles during the work-day and nurses 3-5 addt’l times a day.

·         Is super smiley.  He loves attention and will reward you with a huge smile.  My mom said that he smiles with his whole body. 

·         Is a tough cookie, due to his sister and his cousin Brody!  Claire, bless her heart, loves her baby brother but doesn’t understand how to be gentle.   She recently shared her goldfish with him (fortunately Daddy was able to pull them out of his mouth!) and threw a block at him.   

·         Still likes to cuddle, which I absolutely cherish.  It’s like medicine for the soul.

·         Goes to bed around 7:30 PM (in my arms, on the couch.  I’m not ready to put him in his bassinet that early yet; I miss him too much during the day!), nurses around 10PM before I go to bed, gets up once during the night to eat, and then eats again around 5:30-6:00AM.  Lately he’s been waking up several more times after his middle of the night feeding.  I (or Josh, but usually me since his bassinet is next to  my side of the bed) either rock him, give him his pacifier, rub his head, or pat his tummy to get him back to sleep.  I’m getting pretty good at functioning well on 4-6 hours of sleep.

·         Is poor at tummy time.  I don’t think this kid is going to roll over anytime soon. 

·         Is a good, good baby.  What a blessing!  He rarely cries, unless he’s hungry, tired, or wants attention.