The post in which I (once again) complain about (the lack of) sleeping.

Somehow, reminding myself that I "will sleep again someday" isn't really cutting it after four consecutive nights of getting up with Max FIVE times each night.  I know I shouldn't complain.  But I'm going to, for two reasons.  One, so in case in a few years I (still) want a third child and Josh (still) wants just two, I can look back on this and remember a reason for not having more babies.  Two, so when Max is finally sleeping through the night, I can look back and see how far we have come.

I am really at a loss for what to do.  I am praying that it is just a long growth spurt. But he doesn't act like he's in the middle of a growth spurt during the day, so I kind of doubt it.  Babies, like everyone else, wake up during the night due to the natural sleep cycles.  The trick is teaching them how to fall back asleep on their own.  Once Claire learned how to do this, her sleep drastically improved.  When Max wakes up, he can't fall back asleep because he's SO PISSED OFF that he's swaddled up.  But when I try to unswaddle him, he wakes up even more frequently because his arms flail around and wake him up.  What's a mama to do????

Further complicating the issue is that he has decided he's anti-pacifier at night (not during the day, just at night).  If you try to give it to him, his little tongue will furiously shove it out.  I have been feeding him three times a night.  The other two times, I try to just give him his paci and pat his tummy, while still laying in bed, but since he's on a paci-strike, it's not that easy.  We have to get up, shush him, rock him, etc etc.  Josh has been great at trying to help out but most of the work rests on me since I'm nursing and his basinnet is next to my side of the bed.

The icing on the cake is that he also won't let me drink any caffiene during the day. Not even half of a can of coke. It keeps him up for HOURS.  So I just walk around like a zombie.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, a heart of thankfulness for this little miracle boy, and optimism for the future.  He's so stinkin' precious and a most amazing blessing.  In the meantime, I'm praying for him to sleep, for me to sleep, for patience, for energy, and for it not to affect how I operate at work or how I act towards Josh or Claire.

Okay, complaining over. :)