Memorial Weekend

We made our first trip of the year to the cabin last weekend.  When we were last there this past October I couldn't believe that the next time I was there, I'd be bringing a 6 month old.  Time seems to simultaneously fly and crawl by. 

Claire inevitably falls asleep on the shortest of car rides.  There have been many a time that I distracted her to the point of annoyance in the car so she would stay awake so as to not mess up her nap.  Yet, she didn't fall asleep for a minute on the entire 2 1/2 hour car ride to the cabin.  Such is life!

 Nana, Grandpa Brad, Uncle Chris and Aunt Becky (and Mommy and Daddy too) enjoyed quality time with Claire and Max.  Josh spent a lot of time fishing.  We enjoyed pork chops over the fire Saturday night, as well as more s'mores than I'd like to admit.   

Max napped well.  Claire napped so-so.  Claire slept perfectly Saturday night (in a crib in a (large) closet) and Max slept so-so (was up maybe 6-7 times).  Gave me reassurance that we'll be able to stay at the cabin as much as we hope to over the summer.  

Claire had great fun playing outside for hours and hours.  It surprisingly stayed very dry and we enjoyed unexpected sunshine.

Max has become a COMPLETE Mama's boy.  I don't remember Claire ever being so attached to me as a baby.  Max starts a pathetic little cry the minute he sees me and he stops as soon as I hold him.  We spent much of the weekend cuddling, hugging and kissing. 

The boys worked hard Sunday morning putting in a second dock. Both Chris and Josh enjoy that kind of work.  Chris and Becky left at 1PM so Chris could get home to work. We had planned on leaving Monday morning but heard there were supposed to be severe strorms so we decided to leave at bedtime Sunday evening.  It worked out perfectly because the kids slept the entire way home and went right back to sleep in their cribs. 

We'll be back at the cabin in two weeks with my Grandpa Rudy and Aunt Marcia.  We can hardly wait!!

Chester!

Grandpa got a new puppy last Thursday.  A little black lab named Chester.  I have never seen a puppy be so anticipated-- my dad even started a blog about him!  Claire and Max enjoyed meeting Chester for the first time.   The next morning, the first thing Claire said when I got her out of her crib was that Chester went night-night too.  We love you, Chester!

Random updates

Work is busy right now. Super, super busy.  I often spend time working after the kids go to bed. But it's all good stuff and  I don't mind spurts like this because I know it won't last forever. 

I haven't had caffeine in over 6 months.  Amazing.  Since Max was born 6 months and 3 weeks ago, I've had two half-cans of coke.  And this was during the most sleep deprived phase of my life!  Mister Max is oddly sensitive to caffeine.  He may have outgrown it but I don't exactly feel like testing the waters.  The only thing I'm missing about it is an occasional fountain coke at a restaurant. He's worth it. :)

Claire has a new obsession with stickers....and with putting them all over her chest (she also did the below while wearing her pajamas).  Gotta love the creativity. 

Do dreams influence reality or does reality influence dreams?  Two nights ago I had a dream that I was taking three vitamins and using Diet Dr. Pepper (odd because I hate diet pop and hate dr pepper) that I got out of the back of Josh's (non-existant) pick-up truck to wash them down. There wasn't enough Diet Dr. Pepper in the cup so I had a hard time swallowing them.  I woke up and my throat literally felt like it had closed.  I leaned over in bed and was wheezing and gasping for air.  Josh woke up and was startled and scared.  I finally was able to begin breathing normally again.  So strange. I'm speculating my brain got the message that my throat was doing whatever it was doing and affected my dream.  

We're going to my mom and Brad's cabin this weekend.  We'll be praying for good weather because it's supposed to be rainy!  Should be a lot of fun. Looking forward to fishing (or rather, watching them fish), good food, family, bonfires, playing outside and, cross your fingers, good, solid, long, sleep for Claire and Max.  That last wish will determine if we stay for one or two nights! 

I'm thankful for my super sweet husband tonight.  As I mentioned, I've been extremely busy at work and am in meetings from 8-4 (which necessitates the working from home at night) so I rarely get a chance to check email during the day lately.  Today, during one of my rare breaks, I read a super short and sweet email from Josh that made me thankful all over again that he chose me. 

The Docken garden, version 2, has been planted!  Thanks to my mom who helped me purchase and plant (really, she did all the planting while I corralled Claire) the veggies.  We planted cucumbers (of course), carrots, green pepper, broccoli and tomatoes.  And maybe something else but it's late and my brain is shutting down.

G'night! 

On Discipline

Train up a child in the way he should go,

even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Yesterday I found myself observing a Facebook debate.  The question posted by the former Youth Director of our former church was, "Okay parents, I need your help: putting a bar of soap in a kids mouth for profanity- good or bad?".  To provide context, she has a sweet 2 year old daughter.  I was amazed at first at the number of people, both male and female, that heralded this form of discipline as effective and admirable.  It later evened out and many spoke out in disapproval.  Some of my favorite comments, from both sides of the issue (there were 27 comments in all):

Bad. Child remembers the treatment and not the cause. Look at the 'why' of the behavior. Is the child trying to get your attention? Ignore the behavior - negative reinforcement is still reinforcing for attention.

 

happened to me when I was growing up and I ended up somewhat normal. I tell you what, after getting one taste of that icky soap, i didn't do it again (at least not in front of my parents).

 

Where do you draw the line? What about pouring hot sauce in their mouth? COMPLETELY inappropriate IMO...is soap much different?

 

I'm with the NO camp. No 2 year old knows the meaning of those words in the first place, regardless of where they have heard them. I can't even imagine putting soap in one of my kids mouths - it is NOT a logical consequence!! Be sure that you are modeling the language that you want and teach your daughter that certain words aren't acceptable in your home.

 

I'll amend my answer now that I know the age...

 

While we don't have our discipline approach completely figured out (and I'm sure it will change as our children age) I am thankful that Josh and I agree on one thing: we will not use physical punishment as discipline for our children.  This includes hitting our children ("spanking"), putting soap in their mouth, or anything else that inflicts physical pain or discomfort.  I'm sure we'll be tested.  Already, I can see how parents get to the point where they want to physically discipline their child.  But I think it's a choice.  I think parents are the adults and can make a decision in the moment.

 

I believe that the purpose of discipline is to build character.  As parents we are to be role models.  How hard would it be to understand in my little two or three year old mind that my parents can hit me but I can't hit my sister?  I know that my oldest is only two years old and I haven't reached the age yet where hitting or other forms of physical punishment feel like the most effective, or only, way to end behavior that is out of control or dangerous.  And I fully admit that I am certain there will be times that I will face temptation.  But Josh and I are making a conscious choice to use other methods for shaping our children's behavior and I know we will hold each other accountable.  I am not saying that parents who use physical punishment for discipline are wrong, at long as it could not be considered abuse.  Using more logical, consequence-focused, and respectful forms of behavior-correction is just a decision we have made as parents .  To be sure, as our children grow, we will learn and make mistakes, but most importantly, we will prayerfully approach our enormous responsibility to shape these little people into respectful and self-disciplined individuals that understand the consequences of their decisions. 

 

Small, smart, shy, sweet (alternatively titled, "Claire's 2 year update")

Claire recently turned two years old. I just love the little person that she is and can't wait to see her character, personality, and thought process continue to unfold.

She is small.  At her two year check-up, she weighed 21 pounds and is 2'7'' (31 inches) tall.  She was also 31 inches at her 18 month appointment....so either she didn't grow in the past six months, or they measured her incorrectly at her 18 month appt, which is entirely possible considering their unscientific method that includes a squirmy child, kleenex box, and measuring roll.  She is in the "less than third" percentile, a.k.a. not on the charts.  An apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose!  She is growing perfectly along her own curve, eats well (and lots), and is very healthy..just small! God makes all kinds.  Claire wears mostly size 18 month clothing, but can fit into an occassional size 12 month pair of pants, or size 24 month dress.  She wears size 4/5 shoes and size 4 diapers. 

She is smart!  She can sing almost the entire alphabet (maybe it's because she does it a gazillion times a day. She has several Leapfrog toys that she sings along to) and it's one of the cutest things I've ever heard. She does it with a huge smile on her face and is so proud of herself.  She's starting to count. So far she's got, "1..2..3..4..9!"  She's stringing multiple words together (such as, "Daddy, get your coffee!" as Josh heads out the door to work) and some sentences too.  Colors, however, continue to produce confusion for our sweet girl.  We've worked on colors for months and she still calls almost every color blue!  Her pediatrician said that this age is too young to reliably know colors, though we weren't concerned anyways.  Claire amazes us by her cognitive abilities.  It's less about Claire herself, and more about skills that all children her age are developing, but since she's our first two year old, we're always surprised by new things!  When we're driving, she can spot a bullseye (Target logo) from far away and she yells, "Target!", even if it's not "her" Target location (by the way, if you are a Target shopper, do you refer to the store you regularly visit as "My" Target?  I do. And so do many others.  And you better believe Target is leveraging that sentiment in its advertising).  Makes her mom and dad proud.  She has no clue what Wal-mart is and I hope it stays that way for a long, long time! 

Our Claire is still shy in so many ways, yet outgoing at the same time.  I would also describe her as cautionary.  When we're on a playdate or at gymnastics, if a kid gets too close to her and she's unsure what they're going to do next (she knows little kids are unpredictable, and she's right), she gets this little look on her face and tries to remove herself from the situation.  She's patient, waits her turn, thoroughly enjoys people and kid watching (which makes this a perfect age for eating at restaurants), and loves going on outings. 

Finally, Claire is sweet. I just love this about her. Even at her young age, she shows how much she cares for others.  I pray that I can nurture this quality in her and that she'll use her compassion to do big things in her lifetime. 

Other random tidbits that I want to remember and add to our family scrapbook:
She goes to bed between 7:00-7:30 and puts up absolutely no fuss, as she loves sleeping!  She still sleeps in a sleepsack.  She generally doesn't make a peep until she gets up typically between 6:00-6:30, although it's been around 5:30 lately, which is why we're shopping for black-out curtains today!
Claire loves food.  I'd say her two favorites right now are yogurt and mac and cheese from Noodles. She doesn't drink juice or get many sweets, though she loves them when she does.  She couldn't care less about cartoons and we've never put a children's movie on for her (partially because we don't think it's necessary and partially because of her lack of interest).  She LOVES our iphones and the computer. 

Argh.... I wish I could document every little thing about who she is because I don't want to look back years from now and wonder what she was like at two years old.  I know that memories will fade.  So now I'm telling future Whitney what present-day Whitney knows.....  Claire is a special girl, who wears her heart on her sleeve, and brightens your day tenfold.  Somehow, I think that future Whitney will have no trouble remembering that. 

Blessed Be Your Name

It's Mother's day. I'm standing in church amongst a thousand or so people, praising and worshipping our Creator. I am full of joy..... I just had a wonderful morning with my little family, I was standing next to the woman who is most near and dear to me, my Mama, and it was peaceful because Claire was in Sunday school (ha!).

The band begins to sing a favorite song of mine....

Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

I find my arms lifting in praise.

 

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be Your name

 

It's so easy for me to sing these lyrics. I have my precious baby boy sitting patiently in his carseat, in awe of the music and people around him. I have my wonderful husband standing next to me, with whom I'll celebrate seven years of blissful marriage soon. We have a beautiful house, two great jobs that provide us a comfortable living. The world indeed feels as it should.

 

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

My closed eyes begin brimming with tears (very unlike me as I am typically not a cryer). I think about a friend who held a funeral service just the day before for her infant daughter. I consider the women standing and worshipping amongst me, who are battling infertility, recently experienced a miscarriage, had an adoption fall through.

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

Continuing to cry, I think about the women and men, sons and daughters, amongst me who can't celebrate their mom, here on Earth, because she has passed away from cancer, or through another tragedy.  I think about a friend at work who lost his wife this past fall and his college and high-school aged daughters who are navigating their first Mother's day without their mom. 

Road marked with suffering.... pain in the offering...  You give and take away....

Truly, how easy it is to sing that song with a full heart when life is according to the earlier verse, when the sun is shining down on me.  What a test of faith it is to sing the same song when you find yourself on the road marked with suffering.  Mother's day is not an easy day for so many.  I feel like they too often go forgotten or unacknowledged. 

I pray that I never find myself singing those words with such a heavy heart that I wonder if I can sincerely say, "my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name". 

Those words were powerful to me after I experienced a miscarriage, after years of trying and the start of fertility treatments.  I truly did choose to bless the Lord's name.  But now life is GREAT.  My faith is stronger because of the experiences we endured.  But we don't know what tomorrow holds.  I don't know if the unimagineable might happen to my children.  I don't know if we'll find ourselves unemployed, or piecing together a broken marriage down the road. With all my heart though, I pray that I would be able to stand, arms raised, and praise the One who is there for us, suffering with us, carrying us, when the road is marked with pain.   

A three day weekend

I am LOVING having every other Friday off.  It makes a huge difference for my personal life and doesn't have a big impact in my work-life.  Win-win.

This three day weekend consisted of...

A Friday morning playdate in the beautiful sunshine at a nearby park, with TJ, AJ, and Izzy, followed by lunch (called "Cheese!" by Claire and "Doodles!" by TJ... otherwise known as "Noodles").  

A fun and romantic Friday night wedding of Katie Kizer and Ken Chang.  Nana, Grandpa Brad, and Becky babysat the kids.  The reception was at the new Pinstripes in Edina- super cool place!  The food was fabulous, the wine was delightful, and the conversation was centered around kids (the folks we sat with, one of whom works at Target, have a 23 month old and a 6 week old, so we had stories to swap!).

A Saturday morning garage cleaning by Daddy while Max, Mommy, and Claire played outside in our pajamas and rainboots.  

A one year old birthday party at a fun park in Inver Grove Heights. Lots of sunshine, good food, sweet friends and family, and of course, an adorable one year old. 

A Target shopping trip where I paid $99 and saved $46.  It felt a little "Extreme" when, not one, but two individuals around me exclaimed, "How did you do that?!"

A two year old birthday party for Miss Kiera.  Last year at Kiera's 1st birthday party, I was pregnant.  This year at Kiera's 2nd birthday party, Rachel is pregnant.  Fun! 

Sunday morning breakfast from Daddy and Claire consisting of pancakes, orange juice and scrambled eggs.  

A BOGO Caribou iced coffee on the way to church. 

New golf clubs!!!  Now I just need to find a time to golf...considering it hasn't happened once since the kids were born.  

A movie-night with the hubby that was filled with laughs.  

A powerful church service on "Why God allows suffering" and a worship time that brought me to tears (more on that in another post soon).  

A chaotic lunch at Buca di Beppos with 9 adults and 4 young children, all of whom needed and wanted a nap at some point during the lunch.  The result was two daddies who both had their kids in the car while everyone else finished and paid.  

Sunday afternoon naps for the entire Docken clan at the same time. 

A walk around the neighborhood.

A wide-eyed little boy sitting up on his own.  

Playful fun before putting the babies down for bed (nice posture, Max). Claire is sans pants because she got a little bit of food on them during dinner and freaked the heck out.  She's way too OCD like that.  

Yes, it was a GREAT three day weekend. 

New blog look

YAY!!  After using blogger for 3+ years, I finally improved my layout!  I had no idea how to make the main area wider, but sweet Betsy showed me how!  Do you like the new look?  Now I just need to figure out how to improve the picture posting (Betsy told me how so I should be able to figure it out) and change the header and I'll be all set! 

Max at 6 months old

4 days old, weighing 6 lbs 10 oz.

6 months old, weighing 17 lbs. 

Look Mom!  I'm almost as big as Claire!

He's halfway to one!  Wow!  I hope the next six months go by slower than the first six.  Yesterday at Max's doctor appointment, his Pediatrician said that most second (or third, or fourth) babies eat solid foods sooner and more often than first babies because the family is used to it and has kid-friendly foods around because of their first child.  I actually feel like I'll be the opposite. I want him to stay my little baby longer, so I don't want to start him on real solids for a long time! Sadly, we can't freeze time.

At six months, Max:

• weighs 17 pounds (25-50%), is 25 inches long (5-10%), and has a head that is 17 1/2 inches around (50-75%).  He really doesn't look as disproportionate as this sounds...except for maybe his short little legs.  Claire had her two year appt on Thursday too.  My guess was that Max would weigh 18 lbs and Claire would weigh between 21-22 pounds.  Well, she was 21.2 so I was right on with her! The little peanut gained one pound in the past six months, while Max gained two pounds in the past two months. 
• wears sizes 6 month, 9 month, and 6-12 month clothes, depending on the brand and clothing item. Also wears size 3 diapers.
• started rice cereal this past Sunday and loves it, though he is still working on the technique.
• is sleeping much, much better... praise the sweet, sweet Lord!!  Nancy and the Sleep Institute will forever hold a special place in our heart. :)  We lay Max down awake, without a swaddle (which still blows my mind since we tried to break the swaddle habit unsuccessully so many times), and just his pacifier, and he falls asleep quickly on his own.  He still gets up, I'd say, 3-8 times a night.  We try to wait 10 minutes before going to him, but he rarely falls asleep on his own during this time.  Since we can't remove him from his crib, all we can do is give him the pacifier (and occasionally change his diaper).  This usually does the trick, but not always, as was the case with Friday morning between 3:30-5:30AM, when he cried off and on.  So we still have some progress to make, but we've seen an incredible improvement. 
• is smiley and happy ALL OF THE TIME.  This kid hardly ever fusses, and if he does, it's because he wants to be held or he's tired.  If you just glance in his direction, he'll smile for you. 
• is more enamored with Claire by the day
• has sensitive skin and some patches of eczema.  My sole experience with eczema is from the movie Big Daddy so I asked if it itches or bothers Max (though it doesn't appear to) and she assured me it doesn't. 
• thinks the following things are funny: when Mommy shoves his foot in her mouth and says, "eat your toes!" (he doesn't think it's as funny with Big Sis does it because she sometimes actually follows through with what she says), tickling, when you blow on his hair, when you look at him and talk all excitedly, patty cake, bath time.  
• can sit unassisted for a short period of time, if you place him into the tripod position. 
• is exclusively breast-fed.  Wait, can you still say that once he's started solids?  Well anyways, he's only had breastmilk, not formula (though there is NOTHING wrong with having formula, before you get all riled up!).  I'm starting to fall a couple ounces short with my pumping during work, but I have a large freezer stash that we can use for supplementing.  Claire started having one bottle of formula per (week)day at six months old, so I'm rather pleased with my body right now! 

Claire's Birthday Party

Max dressed for the occasion in his shirt and tie

No interest in the cupcake.  

You know how we can build up events in our mind, and then the real thing never measures up?  Such was the case with Claire's birthday party.  I had spent hours preparing...buying decorations from Etsy, searching for recipes, making lists, buying groceries, cleaning, cooking, going three places to find Sour Patch Straws, and I have to say the party was disappointing.  Only because the poor girl didn't feel well and didn't act like herself.  In fact, she had the biggest meltdown she's ever had in her two years of life.  Thankfully, it was after half of our guests had left.  I really just felt bad for her.  I thought she would feel better once she was distracted by all of her friends and family, but it just got worse.  I think our guests had fun, so that's good!  I just told myself, that's life.  Or c'est la vie, as my French friends say. 

I made a veggie tray, Pepperoni Dip, Fruit Skewers with Fruit Dip, Mini Crescent Dogs, Chicken Wings (recipe corteousy of Auntie Heather), Cookie Dough Truffles, and Easter Basket cupcakes (for her Easter-themed party), using this recipe for the cupcake itself.  We actually ran out of food, so I think everyone enjoyed it!

Last year when we sang "Happy Birthday" to Claire, she bawled.  This year we didn't get to sing for fear she'd have a nervous breakdown given the mood she was in.  We had even practiced for months.  Who knows what the party next year will hold!

Even with the day's events, we loved celebrating our precious girl and were grateful and thrilled that so many loved ones took time out of their busy lives to join us.  Claire, we love you because we love you!

A big weekend for our little big boy

This was a big weekend for Max.  He turned six months old today so he decided it was time to grow up a little (even though it makes Mommy sad).  On Saturday he got a haircut.  I was torn because it just seems so early (Claire was 21 months old at her first haircut), but he needed it in a major way. 

What a cutie he is sitting there (in the bumbo)!  Claire was enjoying a 3+ hour nap, so Josh stayed home while she slept, and I lugged Max across the street to Karen's.  I videotaped, took pictures, cleaned up spit-up, wiped his runny nose, played patty cake, and caught loose strands of hair to save.  It was a big moment.  

Today he had his first experience with solid foods!  A tasty mixture of Mommy's milk with baby cereal.  In true Max fashion, he was all smiles.  And did a pretty good job. 

This is how we all felt about the weather today.  C'mon Minnesota, get your act together.