Survival mode? Hardly.

Claire and Max are 18 months and 1 week apart.  In our plan, our kids would have been about three years apart.  I wanted to have another spring/summer baby and we weren't ready to start trying the summer after Claire turned one because we had both just started new jobs and wanted a year of 'stability' (because that's what just one toddler offers, right? Ha. :)).  Little did we know that the Man upstairs was laughing at all the plans we had made.  He knew that I needed the little guy below before I even did.

My unexpected blessing 

When people saw how little/young Claire was and my large pregnant belly, they often put two and two together and said, "Oh, you're going to be busy!!".  I heard from different folks, both strangers and colleagues at work, that the first year of having "two under two" is a "year of survival".  

Well, I think we're surviving just fine.  Life IS busy.  With us both working full-time, Josh's watch business, the two hours we each commute per day, and all of the stuff that must be done in and around the house, this is not a surprise.  But I have to say I'm proud of how we've handled the first 9 months of our 'year of survival'.  We get out and about a lot (and I bring the two of them out by myself all of the time, and I have ever since Max was born).  We do lots of fun activities as a family, I get a lot of quality time with my girlfriends, and Josh and I maintain a solid relationship (though this does take a lot of deliberate work, as it is SO easy to focus on the kids and all of the tasks we must get done and let the marriage go by the wayside).  Did I say "a lot" enough?  And have I mentioned that "alot" is my most detested mis-spelled word? Anyways....

Here are some factors that have helped and not-so-much helped us 'survive' the first year of having 2U2.

This helps!:

• Claire is very verbal and has been from a young age
• Claire took the adjustment to Max in stride.  She never really showed sibling envy.  She adores Max.
• Max (when he's awake) has always been a good, good baby.  You hardly even know he's there.  Unless he's on his own or with someone other than Mommy and sees Mommy walk by.  THEN he gets upset! 
• Josh and I are a really good team together.  He's one of the most competent fathers I've ever seen!
• We have tons of family nearby.
• Claire is a GREAT sleeper (if only she'd sleep until 7AM, then she'd be the perfect sleeper!).
• We don't have to bring them anywhere for daycare.
• I have every other Friday off to spend quality time with my babies.
• The kids go to bed between 7:00-7:30PM. 
• Claire is a good girl in public 
• Max has always been good at breastfeeding, and never had a problem taking a bottle. 
• They're my greatest joy. 
• They're covered in prayer. 

This has not-so-much helped:

• Claire is small and clumsy.  
• Claire is not independent.  If she plays independently for 10 minutes, I have an internal celebration.
• Claire wants to be held all the time.  Max likes to be held too, especially after I've been gone all day.  It's not easy to have two children wanting to be held while I scramble to make dinner after being gone for 10-11 hours and fighting traffic for an hour on the way home.  
• Max was an AWFUL sleeper the first 5 months of his life.  Shudder.  I was thoroughly sleep deprived for almost half a year, and didn't have a drop of caffeine (due to his aversion) during this period. 
• The kids go to bed at 7:00-7:30 PM (so we have a LOT to do between when we get home from work and when they go to bed).  
• Max is heavy and I am petite.  Carrying Max in his carseat and holding Claire's hand as we walk through parking lots, or through church, etc, was/is a challenge.  
• They're both in diapers so sometimes I feel that changing diapers is all I do all day!  
• For some things, I make life a little more difficult for myself, just because it's important to me.  For example, I make all of Max's baby food (except yogurt) myself.  I am very strict on sleep and make sure they are home for naps and the appropriate bedtime.  

Though it wasn't in our plans, I am so happy that they are 18 months apart in age.  I just love the age difference.  Life is busy and stressful at times, but we wouldn't have it any other way.  It's true that motherhood is the toughest job I'll ever love! 

Gardening

This is how I occupy M when I'm weeding or tending to the garden, or giving it motivational speeches to GROW!

Note the bunny barrier that was put up after the rabbits ate the entire garden the first time I planted it this year. 

Yum! Broccoli! 

I have three cucumber plants on this side. 

Looking good!

We built this garden just last year so I am still working on getting a green thumb.  My mom has been a great help for me as she's a gardening pro.  Like many gardens, mine got off to a slow start due to the wet and cool June we had.  My first veggies were ready to pick this week and I can tell they're going to come in full force now!   I planted broccoli (our favorite veggie!), green peppers, cucumbers, carrots, and green beans. I also planted a tomato plant in a container.  Look at this goodness!  YUM!

Who needs animals when you have a splash pad?!

Josh has been gone much of the weekend (golfing and doing stuff for his watch business....the watches are finally here by the way!) and Barry is on a bike trip so Bethanie and I have had a lot of quality time with the kiddos.  Yesterday we went to the Mall of America (and were so glad that Omi and Auntie He-er (Heather) joined us) and Claire had her first real public tantrum.  I don't really have an excuse for her other than she's two and she was tired.  Today Beth and I brought the kids to the MN Zoo.  They had a ton of fun playing in the splash pad. Brody was very brave and Claire became braver after watching him.  They played and squealed and ran around, and fortunately, both of their mommies had dry clothes waiting for them.   Afterwards we walked around, enjoyed a picnic lunch, saw the new penguin exhibit, and made our way home.  Now both of my kiddos are napping and I am going to do some Shutterfly scrapbooking.  This afternoon I hope to talk Josh into taking a nice bike ride with both kids to the park!  I think it's the nicest weather we have had on a weekend day this summer.  Love it!

Random thoughts

It's been awhile since I posted.  I guess I just haven't had much to say!  We've had ridiculous heat, and believe it or not, it's been too hot to be outside with the kids.  Fortunately, the humidity took a break today and it was amazing just how cool 86* felt!  I'm sitting here just eating a piece of chocolate, watching some of SYTYCD from last night, and procrastinating on the pumping I need to do, so I thought I'd share some random thoughts.

1. I start a new job on Monday.  Yeah, crazy. It's my sixth position in my seven short years at Target. I've learned to not get too attached to a role!  I've only been in my current role for 15 months but I was asked to take the Global Trade Compliance Manager role.  It's an interesting area, it'll be good for my career and I'll be managing a much larger team (I currently have 6 people and will have 14 in my new role) so it'll be good for me. And I really like the team! 

2. I am so grateful for my "mommy" friends!  These six ladies all have toddlers Claire's exact same age.  We met more than two years ago when our first borns were only a matter of weeks old and have stayed in touch ever since.  We had dinner together last night.  It was so nice to catch up and discuss discipline, funny things the kids say, potty training, pregnancies, etc etc!  Love them.

3.  I also love my sisters-in-law (all three of them!).  There are several reasons why I really want a third child and several reasons why I am really okay with not having a third.  One reason I want a third is because I want Claire to have a sister or Max to have a brother. I never had that same-sex sibling relationship growing up.  That said, my brother and I are super close.  It warmed my heart when Josh recently told Chris (my brother) and I that we are the closest set of siblings that he knows.  What a blessing our relationship is.  And now I have the three sisters that I never had growing up and Chris  has the brother that he never had.  I had dinner tonight with two of my sisters-in-law and it was fantastic.  I love those ladies and am so thankful for them!  Josh and Chris have grown very close over the last decade too.  They were the Best Man in each other's weddings and continue to develop their relationship. They're going golfing together this coming Saturday and Tuesday!  I just can't imagine not living close to our families. 

4. Max started formula yesterday (sad face).  I don't know why this is somewhat sad for me because it totally shouldn't be. There is nothing wrong with formula!  I was able to breastfeed exclusively for 8 1/2 months and now he's having two bottles of breastmilk and one bottle of formula per weekday.  No biggie.   He's taking it like a champ too.

That's all I got for now!  Bonne nuit.

Claire's First Prayer

When I was putting Claire to bed tonight, she said her first prayer all by herself.  She always tries to pray with us at dinner but typically she listens while I pray at bedtime.  Tonight it sounded like this.

Whitney: "Honey, let's pray". 
Claire clasps her little hands together.
Whitney: "Thank you for Mommy..."
Claire: "Thank you for Daddy, thank you for Max, thank you for Nana, thank you for Brad, thank you for Max...who else?  Who else? ......  Thank you for Omi, thank you for Brody, thank you for Be-ha-nie... who else?  Who else?....  Thank you for Max". 

Don't feel bad if you were left out....she's only 26 months old. :) 

Work hard, play hard

The theme of our weekend turned out to be play hard and work harder. I just sat down with a bowl of Ben and Jerry's and I am BEAT!

I took Friday off (hooray for three day work weeks!) and took the kids to the zoo by myself.  Claire had a "Toddler Time" class called Armored Armodillos and Chilly Chinchillas. Fortunately, Max acted like a little angel during it and just blabbered away from the stroller in the corner.  Afterwards we walked around and enjoyed the people watching and watching the action in the splashpad.

 She beats to her own drum and I love it.  Max slept peacefully during the rest of the zoo trip.

Later that day, we went to the mall for a little while.  Have I mentioned how much I love my Bob double?  I scored some awesome deals on summer clothes that Claire will wear next year (and a random customer was trying very hard to tell me I cannot buy clothes in size 2T since my daughter will be THREE years old next year!  Hello!  She's my daughter and she can still fit into some size 12 month pants, but thanks for your concern!)

And on the drive home...Max slept.  I have way too many sleeping pictures on my iPhone because I just think he looks too cute when he's asleep.  And yes, he brought a bottle of Parsley with him to the mall. Whatever floats your boat.  Late Friday afternoon my mom came over and helped Josh and I pick out some plants for our landscaping project. Afterwards we enjoyed pizza and a glass of wine on the patio.  My mom spends most summer weekends at the cabin so it's a real treat to be able to spend time with her on the rare occasion that she's home!

Saturday morning we went to Ami and Scott's place for the second annual cousin pool party.  Max SO enjoys the water!  Look at my little love!

This picture is from the pool party last year.

And this one is a year later!  As Ami said, look at the difference a year makes!  I'm hoping that next summer there are at least two more little cousins! 

Max slept on the way home of course, and of course I took a picture on my phone.

We spent the rest of the day working outside.  I also got groceries and organized the desk and surrounding cabinets. I made lasagna for dinner and Brad and Mom joined us (love having them around!).  Brad fixed our sprinkler system- thank you, Brad! After the kids went to bed, Josh continued working outside and I relaxed on the patio with a beer and my book- Heaven is for Real (very good by the way).

Today we met the Parks at the Burnsville splash park.  It's so much fun there.  

I asked Josh to take a picture of me and Max otherwise when our kids are older they're going to wonder where their mom was their entire childhood because I'm always the one behind the camera! 

Bethanie, Josh, and Max enjoying the weather before it got terribly hot and sticky. The point of this park is to play inside the fountains! 

This picture is so Max.  He always has his little tongue hanging out. 

The rest of the day we spent working outside and around the house.  I made lots of baby food for Max, including carrots, peas, cauliflower, squash, and pears.  That should hold him over for, like, a day or two. 

This weekend is what summers are made for.  Time with family, time in pools and splash parks, happy hours on our patio, grilled chicken for dinner, exhausted babies and parents. Hope your weekend was just as great! 

Two years as a working Mama

July 20th will mark two years as a working mom.  The date itself isn't that notable but I'm just a "date" person- it's one of my quirks.

Before I returned from my first maternity leave, I had no idea how to make it work as a full-time Mommy and full-time professional.  My transition back was rough.  If you can even call it a transition because I don't think I fully transitioned at all.  My heart longed to be with my little girl, though I was mostly productive and focused while I was at work.

I surprised my boss one morning when I presented a well-thought out and detailed proposal to change to a 32 hour (4 day) work-week.  When he said no (he thought it could possibly stall my career if I made this move, and there was no precedent for such an arrangement), I didn't give up.  Shortly thereafter I began a new job (a promotion) and was managing a larger team, but that didn't stop me from quickly approaching my new boss about my proposal.  While she showed hesitancy as well, I continued to fight for what I needed.  I was paving a new way, as not a single person at my level in my pyramid ("Distribution" aka supply chain) had a flexible work arrangement.  After much persistence it was approved. It was effective upon my return from my second maternity leave, which made returning in itself not quite as painful.

Some working moms say that they could never be a stay at home mom.  Some stay at home moms cannot imagine working outside the home.  I'm not quite sure where I fall.  But I do know that for the first time since July 20th, 2009, I am in a good place.  I am on a 9/10 day schedule (I have every other Friday off) and it's making a HUGE difference for me.  It's amazing how much better balanced it makes me feel.  Combined with the vacation time I accrue each month and have built up, I typically have 3-4 days off per month.

I think that after two years, I am just now beginning to figure the whole working mom thing out.  Evenings are still crazy as we have 1.5 hours to make dinner, eat, clean up, do baths, play, nurse the baby, and put the kids to bed. And I still have moments where I feel like I am completely missing out on the most precious days of our lives.  But I feel that I have purpose at work as well and I have found peace.  Perhaps it is this thought, that I heard months ago in reference to reconciling the knowledge in our mind with the stirrings in our heart, that is the root of the hope that I feel..

Bloom where you are planted...until God moves you.  

Max at 8 months old

Max is eight months old!  Is he a cutie or what?!  He looks good rocking the pink sunglasses.

At 8 months, Max:

• has his first tooth (this actually came in 3 days after his 8 month birthday- on July 4th).  I couldn't even tell he was teething. I sure hope that's a good sign!
• wears size 9 month and 6-12 month clothing and size 4 diapers.  He has the chunkiest legs.
• is still super attached to his Mommy.  He can't see me without crying and whining for me, unless I pick him up.  
• scoots backwards on his tummy.  He'll go as far as he can until he runs into an obstacle that he can't work around. 
• has started babbling more.  The sound he makes most frequently sounds like, "yeah yeah yeah".  He often makes the sound after Claire says something and it sounds like he's trying to shush her up! He also says, "da da da" and I repeatedly say, "ma ma ma ma" so that becomes his next sound! 
• uses his feet as if they were hands.  He's constantly slapping them together and he curls his little toes and feet in attempts to pick up toys.  
• loves food. He hasn't had too much variety yet, but he's eaten everything we've given him.  Lately he's had a lot of peas.  He eats two meals per day and nurses or has a bottle of breastmilk five times per day.  
• sleeps pretty well.  He goes to bed between 7:00-7:30PM and sleeps until 5:45-6:30AM (I wish he slept later but he wakes up at the same time even if he goes to bed later).  He wakes up anywhere between 2-5 times.  He is AWESOME at taking naps- he puts up no fuss at all.  He's napping 3-4 times a day, for 45 minutes to 1.5 hours each time typically. 
• loves to be outside and enjoys playing in water.  He loves taking walks and also napping in the Ergo. 
• puts everything in his mouth.  Of course.
• is affectionately called, "Maxy Maxy", "Maxy Max","Maxy", "my sack of potatoes", "flat face", "chunky boy".  
• is very smiley and happy!  He's so refreshing to be around when Claire is being her emotional, two year old self! :) 

It's interesting to compare Max at this age to Claire when she was 8 months old.  He just seems so much younger? What do you think? 

Three years of growing babies

My body has been growing a baby for three full, consecutive years.  For the past three years, I have been pregnant, nursing, or pregnant and nursing!  I became pregnant with Claire in July 2008, nursed her until May 2010, became pregnant with Max in February 2010, and am nursing him still!  I will continue nursing Max for another four or so months.  After that point, my body may be done physically nourishing a baby for forever.  Since this is all I have known for the past three years, it's just strange to think that it will be over, likely for forever. 

On one hand, it will be nice to have my body to myself since I've been sharing it with a little one for so long.  On the other hand, I will miss the purpose and intimacy that come with being pregnant or nursing.  With a petite, 5'1'' body, I like how 'womanly' or 'motherly' it feels. 

It's hard for me to give up the idea of ever carrying a baby in my tummy again.  Or never giving birth again, because, (oddly?) , I love that whole process.  Or ever nursing a baby again.  But at the same time, I really, really don't want to live in the in-between because I have been doing that for all of my adult life.  I just want to be content with where we are in life and not have thoughts run through my mind of whether this is our forever family or not. 

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On a different note, we had a great fourth of July weekend.  It started off on a sour note with my iPhone 4 getting stolen on Friday but brightened up from there when we went to the cabin Saturday morning.  It was a full place with us and our two kids, my Mom and Brad, Chris and Becky and their two doggies, Shayla and Garrett with their two kids, Brody and his doggie, and then Laurie and Andrew and their baby and two doggies on Sunday.  Whew.  Claire and Max napped pretty well but slept horribly Saturday night.  It was one of those nights where you consider packing up in the middle of it and going home.  Of course, it meant that I had little energy and Claire was extra emotional on Sunday.  We left Sunday night at 8PM because I was not about to subject myself to another night of torture. It was already an hour past their bedtime so I was hoping they would both sleep the whole way home.  Well, Max slept for all but 20 minutes and Claire didn't sleep a wink.  That meant she got to bed at 10:30 (3.5 hours past her bedtime) and of course didn't sleep in any later today (she was actually up a bit earlier than normal- at 6AM). Needless to say, our mission for today was to help our children catch up on sleep.  Claire took two naps for a total of 3.5 hours, Max took 4 naps, and they were both in bed promptly at 7PM. 

Between the naps, we had a great day as a family.  We took a bike ride with the Burley (first time this year) this morning to the local Dunn Bros coffee shop.  It had actually closed down for good, so we biked over to the nearby gas station and Claire got to enjoy her very first orange juice.  She thought she had died and gone to Heaven!!  After all four of us took a nap, we ran an errand and got lunch at Noodles.  Later they napped again while I got groceries.  This afternoon we played in the backyard in the pool and grilled chicken for dinner.  It was a fun, summer day (best weather we could ask for!) with our angel baby and sweet two year old, who had the highest of highs and lowest of lows all in one day.  It wasn't a complete surprise that the headache I had all afternoon long went away the instant I put Claire to bed! 

Hope you had a fun holiday weekend as well!