My heart-breaker at (almost) 16 months

Max will be 16 months on Thursday.  I love, love, love this age and he is so precious to me. 

Max has started perfecting the art of tantrums.  When they begin, we say, "Uh oh, the raptor is loose!" He throws himself on the ground, cries/whines, flips around a bit, and then ends the tantrum as quickly as he started it.

Boom! I'm a heart-breaker.  Check out my chest, ladies. 

Max is so lovey and kind and gentle (except for when he (playfully) bites me or pulls his sister's hair) and sweet.  When Claire or Brody are sad, he gives them hugs. Today Claire was throwing a fit and he walked over and laid his head on her chest. He loves to cuddle and give hugs and kisses.  He blows kisses and waves his arm up and down and says, "Bye! bye! bye!"

He loves to go with you and hates being left behind.  Whenever me or Josh leave, he stands at the door, banging and crying. If he sees me putting my shoes and coat on, he walks over and quickly grabs his coat or hat and tries putting them on. 

Max is so playful.  He loves to laugh and have fun. He loves being tickled and tries to tickle others by tapping them and saying, "tick tick tick tick".  He thinks it's hilarious when you smell his feet, wrinkle your face in disgust and say, "oh P-U! Your feet are STINKY!!"  Gets him every.time. 

Max surprises me with how much he talks. I've been keeping a list of his words on my phone (because my phone is generally embarrassingly attached to me) and here's what I've tracked. And these are the words I've heard more than once or twice.  There's others that I think were flukes (like "Love you"; he was just copying Josh and hasn't said it again). 

Mommy

Daddy

Up

Hi

Bye

Puppy

Omi

Papa

Nana (banana)

Oh no

No

Bro (Brody)

Brody

Bue (bluberry)

Moo (when you ask what a cow says, also when you ask what any other animal (besides sheep) says too)

Wa-wa (water)

Mo (more)

Peez (please)

All duh (all done)

Elmo

Hat

Dop (stop)

On

Off

P-U

Max is a GREAT night-time sleeper.  He sometimes wakes once or twice (or thrice) towards the morning and either goes back to sleep on his own or needs us to lay him back down. Sometimes he doesn't make a sound all night at all.  Max goes to bed around 7:15PM and gets up around 6:30AM.  Like his sister did, he wakes up with a dry diaper every single morning. While most kids his age have transitioned to one nap per day, he's still at a strong two, if not three, naps.  The first is around 8:30-9:00AM.  Then another mid-day and sometimes a third later in the afternoon.  I remember asking my 'mom friends' how their kids transitioned to one nap per day when Claire was 18 months old (just a couple days before Max was born). Claire consistently took two naps a day until she was two years old. I guess my children just like shorter and more frequent rest breaks. 

At his fifteenth month well-visit, Max weighed 22 lbs 11 oz (25%) and was 30 1/4 inches tall (25%).  His head was 19 1/4 inches (90%).  To me, he looks bigger than the 25th percentile and looks more proportionate than his head size would indicate.  He wears size 4 shoe and size 12-18 month clothing. 

Side note. Claire's sparkly peep-toe shoes? and sequin skinny jeans? and pink jean jacket?  I love having a girl. 

Max has an obsession with food.  That kid loves to eat.  He'll scarf down any fruit. Also loves cheese, yogurt, pasta, bread, oatmeal.  He hates vegetables (but gets a good dose of carrots every morning in his homemade oatmeal- gotcha, Max!) and doesn't care for meat. 

Other things about Max?  He climbs the stairs like a pro and has even learned how to slide down on his belly. One of his favorite things to do is get on his tiiiiipy toes to crawl into Claire's bed and lay his head on her pillow. He has a love/love relationship with his paci.  He giggles and belly-laughs.  Max runs with his head turned to the side. He head-bangs when we play music, often with so much passion that he falls over.  Likes to "attack" me and Josh by slapping our chest or stomach and laughing.  

Max can be shy, just like his sister. I see lots of his personality already matching hers. 

This little boy has stolen my heart.  I am so thankful to be Mommy to a boy.  A little boy who thinks his Mommy is the center of his universe. 

If you got through this entire blog post dedicated to my sweet boy, I'll be impressed. For the record, I spend the time putting down all of these details because I transfer them to my annual Shutter.fly book.  These children grow up way too fast and I just feel this need to capture and remember them at each stage! 

Good friends

Last year I wrote a little about these amazing friends and showed pictures of our oldest children together in 2009, 2010, and 2011 here.  We once again hosted the annual family potluck at our house a couple weeks ago.  Now there's a whole new set of younger siblings!  Of the seven of us, five have a younger child and the other two are pregnant.  How did the statistics play out?  Out of the seven sibling groups, one is girl/girl, one is boy/boy, and five are one of each.  

Three of the younger siblings.  Max is the oldest little sibling. 

The moms with our oldest!  Two of the families couldn't make it.  It's so fun to see how these children have grown (click that link above to see these five when they were 10 weeks old!). 

Last night Claire had what could possibly be her worst night EVER.  Like, in her whole life.  I am off work today and the morning was not much better.  I think she might have stopped crying/whining for five minutes total (in addition to the 30 minute nap I made her take).  Needless to say, I was that much more excited to go to Melissa's house (Melissa is the second from the right in the picture above) this morning for a playdate with four of the seven in our mom group.  As I predicted, Claire was a totally different person.  Respectful, quiet, gentle, kind, and didn't whine for even a second. 

Max loved the Thomas the Train set.  

It was a rowdy group with three almost three year old boys.  Claire wasn't sure what to think. A couple times she said "What are they doing?" and "Why are they making that noise?"  Melissa laughed and asked her, "it doesn't sound like this in your house??".  :) 

Enjoying Dominos pizza for lunch. Too bad it took 1 1/2 hours to be delivered!  The kids were ready to inhale the pizza and take a nap! 

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9 

Paying the day forward

If you know me, you know I am passionate about alleviating poverty...both spiritual and physical.  You'll know that I believe our lives are about so much more than ourselves.  You might know that my heart hurts for the suffering and that I have a strong worldview.

The other day I was listening to KTIS and when I heard this excerpt from one of my favorite songs, I thought, "Yes, Lord!  Yes! May it be so with me!"

Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted.

The ones that are far beyond my reach.

Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.

Give me Your eyes so I can see.

This year, and every four years, we are gifted with an extra day.  What will we do with this gift? HOPE International, the non-profit I feel so strongly about serving, encourages us to not spend this day on ourselves, but to spend it on behalf of the poor.  This video weaves a simple, compelling message on how we might spend the day on ourselves, or, in contrast, how we might pay the day forward to benefit others. HOPE provides a very basic calculator on the Leap Forward website to determine the value of Leap Day based on annual salary or hourly wages (or, you can just divide your bi-weekly paycheck by 10, like I did to calculate my daily wages). HOPE's end goal is to raise funds to support the microfinance operations in Congo, placing people on the pathway out of poverty.  With Leap Day fast approaching on February 29th, now is the time to take a personal leap and participate.  Will you join me? If you can't give your daily wage, would you consider giving what you would spend on lunch?  In a country where a $50 loan can literally change an entire family's life, it might be the best money you've spent this year.  

What all parents of young children have in common: thinking JUST SLEEP!

I don't know how I just heard about this book recently.  When I've asked other parents if they've heard of this book, they all laugh and shake their heads knowingly.  Now, I don't talk this way and don't condone this language, but if you are the parents of a young child, you WILL relate!

A couple of the pages (I don't have the book, but you can read it online)....

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle

The sparrow has silenced her cheep

F* your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit

Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

.....

We're finally watching our movie

Popcorn's in the microwave. Beep.

Oh shit. God**** it.  You've gotta be kidding.

Come on, go the f* back to sleep.

I don't think the hardest part of parenting is (almost) never having time to yourself anymore.  It's not working working working from the minute they wake up to the moment they go to sleep (and then often times while they are sleeping because they AREN'T SLEEPING).  It's not figuring out how to discipline. How to make them stop whining.  How to build their character.  The hardest part isn't teaching this little person how to walk, eat, talk, be nice to others.  No... I think the HARDEST part of parenting is sleep.  Teaching the children how to sleep.  NOT sleeping because they aren't sleeping. When children sleep well, life is good.  When children aren't sleeping well, everything else is ten times harder.

With few exceptions, I think that any parent who has a child under the age of 3 who sleeps perfectly from 8:00PM-7:30AM without needing Mom or Dad even once, on a very consistent basis, is 30% brilliant and 70% lucky.  There, I said it.

Sleep goes in phases. Claire was a great sleeper as an infant.  I remember the other moms (whom I'm still friends with and adore!) in my Mom and Baby class asking me, "How do you get her (at 8 weeks old) to sleep 6 straight hours a night??!!"  I shrugged.  I had no clue.  I was lucky!   With teething, developmental milestones, illnesses, and age, her sleeping patterns have gone up and down.  Max was an AWFUL sleeper (like, he defined an awful sleeper) as a baby.  Now?  Unless he's sick, he sleeps from 7:30PM until 6:30AM with hardly a peep.  But I am not patting myself on the back quite yet. I KNOW that his phases of less than perfect sleep are probably around the corner!

During the night, I usually appear patient and calm and gentle to my children, but sometimes I don't feel that way inside.  Sometimes you get angry.  Sometimes you're frustrated. Sometimes you try your sugary sweet voice.  Sometimes you bribe.  Sometimes you threaten.  Sometimes you just walk away and then curse internally because her screaming just woke up her brother. And sometimes you thank Jesus for a quiet night of sleep.

It's not always bad.  In fact, at this precise moment in our children's lives, we're pretty lucky.  Claire gets up early, but largely because she's an extremely light sleeper and hears me getting ready for work at 5:45AM.  She doesn't wake at night more often than she does, and when it happens, it's easier to coax her back to sleep than it was even a month ago.

I'd like to share my top ten favorite phrases I've heard during the middle of the night:

"Mom-my! Mom-my!" (Max)

"I'm all done sleeping, Mommy! Mom, I'm ALL DONE!" (I especially love hearing this around midnight)

"heh heh heh ahhhhh ehhhh waaaaaa" (crying/whining from Max)

"I can't see the moo-cows! The moo-cows are in my room, Mom"

"Sing me a song, Mommy. Mommy, sit down and sing me a song, please!"

"I need to go potty" (which I think is a tactic) 

"I need a drink of wa-wa (water) and wash my paci" (She literally wants me to wash her paci in the bathroom)

"Mom, my tummy hurts!  Can you rub my tummy, please?" 

"Mommy, let's rock-a-bye"

"Mom, I told you a litta bit door! You didn't listen to me. You shut the door!" (Claire wants the door open a crack when she goes to bed, but I close it after she's sleeping or else she's SURE to wake up in the morning when I'm showering).

She's never once slept in our bed so fortunately she doesn't ask to do that.  And despite being potty trained and wearing underwear at night, it's very unusual for her to ask to go to the bathroom during the night. My colleagues who have children a little older (even 4-6 years old) say that sleeping is MUCH better and a non-issue at night.  Something to look forward to!

The ironic thing is...when they are slumbering peacefully in their bed, I often have to resist the temptation to go in there, pick up their sweet, soft, freshly washed bodies, and snuggle them all night long. The magic of parental love, I suppose.

Our romantic weekend away!

I chuckled recently when I read a blog from a mom of a young baby, who said that, while it was extremely difficult to leave her, she and her husband had to go to Hawaii for a week long vacation when their baby was just five months old, to remember what it was like to just be a couple.  I'm not judging...(I don't think).  Now that Josh and I have finally gotten away for two days, I definitely see the value in reconnecting as a couple.  It just took us almost three years to leave for two days!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my mom and to Omi and Papa for each watching the children for a day/night.  They had a couple early mornings, but it sounds like the kids did great overall.

We took Friday off and made a leisurely trek north.  I have been to Lutsen many times before.  I have many fond memories of ski trips at Lutsen with my family and the Marty family.  I went several times in college and have very great memories from then too; the memories just look a little different. :)

I think Lutsen surpassed Josh's expectations and we talked and daydreamed a lot about bringing our children there and making lifelong family memories, once they're older.  We even brainstormed which family(ies) we would like to join us, because it's way more fun to rent a townhome and go with friends. Were you on our list?? :)

On Friday night, we ate dinner at Moguls, which is a nice restaurant at our resort.  We said, "NO TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS!" and we were semi-successful.  We laughed, and talked, and drank wine/beer, and chatted with our waiter, Tom, and had general merriment.

S'more brownie cake for dessert....NUM! 

The view from our condo. That's Lake Superior in the background.

We hit the slopes Saturday morning.  It had been 8 years since I went skiing and 10 years for Josh!!  I actually did better than I expected.  I don't think I ever really appreciated the amazing view of Lake Superior while skiing at Lutsen like I did this time.  It was breathtaking!  (The following are all pictures taken on my phone) 

Josh's self-portrait FAIL!  "But the sun was in my eyes!" 

The high was 33 on Saturday and it felt so nice!  Only my neck and face got a tab bit cold at times.  We couldn't have asked for a better day.  That's me before going down our first run.  It was a black diamond, unexpectedly (#wasplanningtowarmuponbunnyhills). 

Riding the gondola from Moose Mountain to Eagle Mountain.  No, I didn't seriously injure my neck, my head is just tilted awkwardly.  

Saturday night we again enjoyed dinner at Moguls (same dessert!) and then rested a couple hours before forcing ourselves to not act like old folks and make our way to Papa Charley's.   There was a live band and we enjoyed watching an eclectic group of people go crazy on the dance floor before calling it a night at 10:30 (I really did feel old).  This morning we packed up, grabbed coffee to go, and started the five hour trip home.  It was SO GREAT to see the children.

To all the parents of young children, I urge you to get away with your spouse, even if it's just for a night!  This weekend was medicine for our marriage.  An investment, to be sure.  It was reminder after reminder of why we fell in love with each other and what we have in common (besides our young family).  It was laughter, and talking (without Claire constantly saying, "what are you talking about?!?!"), and playing, and eating, and sleeping in, and reconnecting.  It was wonderful.

"The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." 

John Wooden 

Moo-cows and Max's Mommy (and a huge answer to prayer)

On Wednesday, I told my good friend Rachael at work that Claire had a bad experience with cows last fall.  She laughed-- how could a two year old have had a bad experience with cows?! Well, she did.  It involved sitting in a tractor, an open door, and a large cow coming very close.  Her Papa feels terrible and he had no idea it would happen.

My daughter isn't scared of monsters, or the 'boogeyman', or strangers.... (well maybe she is a little bit)... no, she's scared of.....cows.  Or, moo-cows to be precise.

She thinks (?? I would love to get in her head so I could know how much she truly thinks) they are in her bedroom at night.  She points to the window, above her curtain, and says she sees cows up there.

She says, "Don't turn my light off, Mommy! Then I can't see the moo-cows!"

Wednesday morning I was blow-drying my hair.  Once I turned it off, I heard her screaming, "NO! NO! NO! NO!".  I rushed into her room, opened the door, and she yelled, "SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!".  This was a terrified scream.  I knelt by her bed and Claire started kicking her legs and waving her arms and shouting, "Moo-cows, GET OUT OF MY BED! GET OUT OF MY BED!  I DON'T WANT YOU HERE! GET OUT!!!!".  I almost started crying.  I picked her up, hugged her close while speaking calm words, and she bawled.  For a long time.

We've told her over and over and over again that cows are only at the farm and cannot possibly walk all the way to our house.  I open her curtains at night and show her there are no cows outside or in her room. I hope and pray this passes quickly!

In other news, Claire is so sweet with Max.  Tonight Claire and I had to run to Target to pick up medicine for Max (he has his first ear infection). She told Max, "Max, me and Mom are going to the store, but you have to stay here with Daddy. But we'll be RIGHT BACK, Max.  You just stay here with Daddy".  When we arrived home an hour later, she said, "Max, your Mommy is home!  Here she is, Max!  Come see your Mommy!!".

Right before I put Max in his crib tonight, she bumped him and he hit his head.  Crying ensued.  Claire compassionately said, "Max, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry, Max {do all two year olds repeat everything they say?!}".  His crying continued.  "Mom, please rock-a-bye Max.  Mom, can you rock-a-bye Max?  He's sad.  Rock-a-bye him".

Do you tire of hearing Claire stories? I know I document a lot of them.  I just know I'm going to forget too much about how she is at this age.

I was SO overjoyed and grateful to see this morning that my brother's best friend, Ben, and his wife, Jen safely welcomed their son into the world.  Last March they tragically and very unexpectedly lost their baby girl at 37 weeks.  I wrote about their tragic loss here.  Hundreds of people 'liked' and commented on her announcement on Facebook today.  There's so much I'm thinking and so much I prayed for, but one thing I know for sure is that Jack James will be a most cherished little boy.