What all parents of young children have in common: thinking JUST SLEEP!

I don't know how I just heard about this book recently.  When I've asked other parents if they've heard of this book, they all laugh and shake their heads knowingly.  Now, I don't talk this way and don't condone this language, but if you are the parents of a young child, you WILL relate!

A couple of the pages (I don't have the book, but you can read it online)....

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle

The sparrow has silenced her cheep

F* your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit

Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

.....

We're finally watching our movie

Popcorn's in the microwave. Beep.

Oh shit. God**** it.  You've gotta be kidding.

Come on, go the f* back to sleep.

I don't think the hardest part of parenting is (almost) never having time to yourself anymore.  It's not working working working from the minute they wake up to the moment they go to sleep (and then often times while they are sleeping because they AREN'T SLEEPING).  It's not figuring out how to discipline. How to make them stop whining.  How to build their character.  The hardest part isn't teaching this little person how to walk, eat, talk, be nice to others.  No... I think the HARDEST part of parenting is sleep.  Teaching the children how to sleep.  NOT sleeping because they aren't sleeping. When children sleep well, life is good.  When children aren't sleeping well, everything else is ten times harder.

With few exceptions, I think that any parent who has a child under the age of 3 who sleeps perfectly from 8:00PM-7:30AM without needing Mom or Dad even once, on a very consistent basis, is 30% brilliant and 70% lucky.  There, I said it.

Sleep goes in phases. Claire was a great sleeper as an infant.  I remember the other moms (whom I'm still friends with and adore!) in my Mom and Baby class asking me, "How do you get her (at 8 weeks old) to sleep 6 straight hours a night??!!"  I shrugged.  I had no clue.  I was lucky!   With teething, developmental milestones, illnesses, and age, her sleeping patterns have gone up and down.  Max was an AWFUL sleeper (like, he defined an awful sleeper) as a baby.  Now?  Unless he's sick, he sleeps from 7:30PM until 6:30AM with hardly a peep.  But I am not patting myself on the back quite yet. I KNOW that his phases of less than perfect sleep are probably around the corner!

During the night, I usually appear patient and calm and gentle to my children, but sometimes I don't feel that way inside.  Sometimes you get angry.  Sometimes you're frustrated. Sometimes you try your sugary sweet voice.  Sometimes you bribe.  Sometimes you threaten.  Sometimes you just walk away and then curse internally because her screaming just woke up her brother. And sometimes you thank Jesus for a quiet night of sleep.

It's not always bad.  In fact, at this precise moment in our children's lives, we're pretty lucky.  Claire gets up early, but largely because she's an extremely light sleeper and hears me getting ready for work at 5:45AM.  She doesn't wake at night more often than she does, and when it happens, it's easier to coax her back to sleep than it was even a month ago.

I'd like to share my top ten favorite phrases I've heard during the middle of the night:

"Mom-my! Mom-my!" (Max)

"I'm all done sleeping, Mommy! Mom, I'm ALL DONE!" (I especially love hearing this around midnight)

"heh heh heh ahhhhh ehhhh waaaaaa" (crying/whining from Max)

"I can't see the moo-cows! The moo-cows are in my room, Mom"

"Sing me a song, Mommy. Mommy, sit down and sing me a song, please!"

"I need to go potty" (which I think is a tactic) 

"I need a drink of wa-wa (water) and wash my paci" (She literally wants me to wash her paci in the bathroom)

"Mom, my tummy hurts!  Can you rub my tummy, please?" 

"Mommy, let's rock-a-bye"

"Mom, I told you a litta bit door! You didn't listen to me. You shut the door!" (Claire wants the door open a crack when she goes to bed, but I close it after she's sleeping or else she's SURE to wake up in the morning when I'm showering).

She's never once slept in our bed so fortunately she doesn't ask to do that.  And despite being potty trained and wearing underwear at night, it's very unusual for her to ask to go to the bathroom during the night. My colleagues who have children a little older (even 4-6 years old) say that sleeping is MUCH better and a non-issue at night.  Something to look forward to!

The ironic thing is...when they are slumbering peacefully in their bed, I often have to resist the temptation to go in there, pick up their sweet, soft, freshly washed bodies, and snuggle them all night long. The magic of parental love, I suppose.