Angry

It's one of those moments where you feel entirely unequipped to parent in the moment.  Do I shield her from the realities of our fallen world?  Do I let her continue to live in her world of childhood innocence? Do I use it as a teaching moment, in words she may find a way to understand?

Josh took Monday off to work on a house project.  When I got home from work I spoke with him about the horror in Boston- he had no idea.  Claire happened to be right there and picked up that I was talking about something important, so it, of course, piqued her interest.

"What happened, Mommy? What happened?", she innocently asked.

I looked at her sweet three (I'm in denial it's almost four) year old innocence and dilemma struck.

I went with my gut.

"Honey," I gently said, "someone made a really bad decision today.  Someone decided to hurt a lot of people.  The people are going to the hospital and the doctors will make them feel all better.  But we're sad that  people got hurt."

She's just beginning to learn that about evil.  Last Sunday night my dad, Josh and I were deep in conversation during dinner.  Out of nowhere, Claire blurted out, "SATAN IS BAD!!"

I wasn't sure how she would respond to my explanation of the Boston tragedy.  Would she respond with fear? I didn't think so.  You see, she has no understanding of mortality.  In fact, we often talk about events that occurred before she was born. She always asks, "Where was I?" and I'll say it happened before she was born.  "So then I was in your tummy, right?"  "If I wasn't in your tummy, than where was I?!"  In her mind, she has always been alive- either here presently or in my tummy.  So I didn't think she would be scared, for she has always known people to be okay. She hasn't known death.

Would she be indifferent?  That would be entirely age-appropriate, but I didn't think it would be the case for her.

Her response somewhat surprised me.  Her face immediately got hardened and she forcefully said, "I am ANGRY!!!  I am ANGRY that someone hurt people!  You're not supposed to hurt people!"

During dinner fifteen minutes later, she interrupted our conversation and again said, "I am just so ANGRY!  I am ANGRY at that person!  He hurt people!"

I acknowledged that I was angry too, but that all of the people would get their owwies healed.

She's already beginning to understand injustice.

And I pray she always responds to injustice with anger.  With the type of anger that produces a response.

A response to change that which stirs her anger.

I pray that she will understand, care about, and respond to injustice.

The type of injustice that allows for 1 in 3 children to live without adequate shelter.  That allows 1 in 5 children to live without access to safe water.  The injustice that allows 1.4 million children to die annually from lack of access to safe drinking water and sanitation.

I pray that she is ANGRY that there are 27 million people in modern-day slavery across the world.

I pray that she knows and cares that already 923 million people worldwide are undernourished and there are more than 9 million deaths related to hunger each year.  NINE MILLION! There's enough food!  Enough for us all.  We just have a problem with distribution.

It's crazy.  My mind cannot even comprehend.

While the statistics are depressing, responding in action feels empowering.  There are so many ways to do it.  Personally, Josh and I give our time, talent, and treasure.  We support HOPE International financially, we serve HOPE through the Midwest Board of Directors.  I speak with almost anyone that will listen about my passion to eradicate global poverty.  In fact, I found three opportunities at work just this week- during my welcome lunch with my new department at work, at my leadership development course today with the Senior Leaders in my division, and on a "Get to know you" document.  And I seek teachable moments with my children.

Part of me has wondered if I did the right thing by telling Claire, in general terms, about the Boston bombing.  Even days later she was bringing up the topic again.  But I am proud of her response.  I see the little internal moral compass that God has developed within her.  And I pray that God keeps nourishing her source of compassion so that she will be a world-changer.


In other news, my latest song obsession is "Lord, I need you" by Matt Maher.  Can't get enough. Suggest you check it out (and have I mentioned how much I love Spotify?).

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You