My Holland

Have you heard this story before?  I've heard it several times in the context of parents with children who have special needs.  I am incredibly blessed to have healthy children, and God willing, I pray they stay that way.  While I cannot relate to parenting a child with special needs, I have my own little version of Holland.  I think, in some way, we all do.  Whether it's our marriage, our own health, our children, a dream we had for our life, we all have something that looks quite a bit different than we imagined.

Welcome to Holland

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I have two cases of Holland in my life. And one is regarding my family, my immediate family.  My parents' divorce is the most painful thing I have ever endured.  Painful doesn't even begin to describe the experience we had, and the pain we continue to feel.  I never imagined having divorced parents and having separate holiday celebrations and new significant others (or other, in my case) in my life.  While it's not Italy, I've found that Holland is pretty darn terrific.  

I am so thankful for Brad and his children and grandchildren.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives.  

I adore this picture.


If it weren't for Holland, Claire wouldn't have this precious friend in her life.








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This weekend we had an awesome evening at my Mom and Brad's house.
Brad's daughter, Shayla, and her family was there and so were our friends, the Fords.
My brother and Becky and Bailey were there too.
We were celebrating Brad's birthday.
We literally laughed for hours.
It was so good to be outside and relax and eat and talk and laugh.
It made me really thankful for my Holland.