Claire at 13 months

I'm going to continue Claire's monthly updates for now. She's changing so much and I want to keep track!

Claire at 13 months:

• WALKS!! She started walking about a week after turning 1. At first she would just walk a few steps between Josh and I when we encouraged her to walk towards us. She also needed hard soled shoes to walk. It was only a couple weeks before she could walk in socks, barefoot or in any shoes and could walk across the whole house. It's amazing how quickly they improve!! She now prefers to walk and doesn't crawl much. It's so, so, so fun. When she falls it's on her bum, she so hasn't gotten hurt yet. I love this stage!!
• TALKS! She whispers when she talks. She'll be babbling at the top of her lungs and then she'll whisper "bye...bye...". She also started what looks like the Atlanta Braves arm pump when she says bye. She says:
  Mama
  Dada
  Ba (for ball)
  Puh (for puppy)
  Bye
  Hi
• Claps. She just started this yesterday.
• Is obsessed with books. She could read books all day long! She has many favorites, including Where the Wild Things Are. She has started climbing into our laps too (and using Josh as a jungle gym), so she'll grab a book, walk over, and sit in our lap so we can read it to her- so cute!
• Is clingy and still super sensitive.
• Eats like a horse. I wonder if she's been going through a growth spurt because she eats SO Much! Not more than me since I'm pregnant (and constantly famished myself) but I honestly feel like she sometimes eats more than Josh! Where does she put it?! She is branching out and eating lots of different types of food. She still doesn't care for meat much. She loves fruit, sweet potatoes, and pasta. She had peanut butter for the first time last weekend and wasn't quite sure what to think. She really likes whole cow's milk. She's completely free of bottles!
• Goes to bed about 7PM and used to sleep until 7:30-8:00AM but just started waking up at 6:00AM four days ago! I hope it's just a short phase! She also used to go to bed after just a book (or two, or three), a snuggle, and a paci. We'd lay her down awake and not hear another peep for 12-13 hours (actually we'd hear a few peeps during the night but she'd get herself right back to sleep). But just the past three nights she has started crying hard when we put her down! I hope that, too, is a short phase!
• CUDDLES!! Ahhh, I love it. So sweet.
• Typically naps twice a day. They are usually between 30-90 minutes.
• Wears size 9 and 12 month clothes.

She's going to be a great big sister. She is getting lots of good practice with cousin Brody. She gives him kisses!

Now it's time to watch the Idol finale!

Baby #2 Update- 15 weeks

I am 15 1/2 weeks pregnant with #2. Time is flying by. I think that's due to 'missing' the first 11 weeks and being super busy with Miss Claire! It feels like November will be here in no time.

I am feeling great. I am quite tired and fight to stay awake past 9PM. My tummy is expanding quickly. I have heard that women typically show with #2 sooner and also get bigger overall. I started wearing maternity pants this week. I had just been not buttoning my pants for awhile but that wasn't working anymore! I bought a few new maternity items- work pants, jeans, tank-top, short-sleeve sweater, Twins t-shirt....but I'll need to buy more since I'm pregnant in the opposite season as last time. My thick winter sweaters won't cut it this summer!

At my first doctor's appt we talked about my last pregnancy and how this one will be both similar and different. We mostly discussed the low blood sugar, early and constant contractions, and low birth weight. He said that I will almost certainly have the low blood sugar again so I will need to again focus on eating every 1-2 hours. I have already started to feel the effects of it, as I've gotten dizzy on a few occasions. It hasn't been as bad as last time yet (as in blurred vision, cold sweat, weak legs), thankfully. I found it interesting that he thinks I am not any more likely than any other woman to have a small baby this time around. I just thought that I made small babies? He said the baby is just as likely to be 9 pounds as 5 pounds. Hmm... But since I started contractions every 5-10 minutes at 31 weeks (that lasted the remainder of the pregnancy), they're going to monitor the growth more closely. I'll get "growth" ultrasounds at 26, 30, 34, and 38 weeks to measure the growth of the baby. If anything looks odd, they'll be more frequent. I was very happy to hear this. I was going to advocate for it anyways but I'm glad that they initiated the plan. Last pregnancy when I hit 34 weeks, they said they wouldn't stop my labor if it happened anytime after that point. Well, Claire could have been 1-2 pounds at 34 weeks since she was 5 lbs 4 oz at 40 weeks! Thank God she stayed in there a lot longer! I am glad we'll be more informed about this baby and can make the best decision. I was also glad to hear that I may not have the early contractions again this time- he said I'm just as likely not to. I will be praying for that!!

Oh, one more thing that's notable is that the placenta is at the front of my uterus this time, which means I may not feel as much movement. That's a good and bad thing. I rented a doppler again so I'm glad I can use that when I am nervous at all. But I'm mostly trying to place my trust and hope in Jesus and know that this baby is His and that no matter what happens, He is the same God that was, is, and forever will be.

Hope you're enjoying the weekend! It's a hot one today!

What a weekend!

I normally don't blog about our weekends for some reason but this time I have to! If I could sum up the weekend in one word, it would be "awesome". If I could use two, I would add "exhausting".

Friday night we had a super fun dinner at Molly Cool's with my Mom, Brad, Chris and Becky to celebrate my mom's double nickel birthday. We had lots of laughs! I am SO lucky to have the wonderful mom that I do...and one that keeps me young! I swear she's 55 going on 35.

Saturday morning Josh, Claire and I took a family bike ride to Dunn Bros. It was mostly down hill on the way there so that part of the trip was a breeze! We enjoyed an iced vanilla latte and iced mocha before making the tougher trip home. I love, love, love family bike rides. Especially on a beautiful Saturday morning at 9AM! And with a coffee pit stop. Perfect!!

After the bike ride and Claire's morning nap, Josh went golfing with Chris and Andrew and Claire and I went to the Minnesota Zoo with Angela and Campbell. It was terrific seeing those girls! We had fun getting lunch, ice cream, and walking around on the gorgeous day.

After returning home and Claire's afternoon nap, Claire and I went to Burnsville Center to pick up a gift for baby Andrew.

We traveled to Inver Grove Heights with Bethanie and Annie and met precious Andrew Paul. He was so tiny and perfect! Here's a picture of Claire, Andrew and Brody. Those three (along with Everleigh and the other awesome cousins!) will be Great friends!
Wow.. that Saturday was enough to make anyone exhausted...let alone someone that's 14 1/2 weeks pregnant! Josh and I both passed out at 8:30PM and slept until 7:00AM this morning.

We woke up to another gorgeous day (thank you Jesus!). At 7:30AM we headed out to Edelweiss Bakery in downtown Prior Lake for a little breakfast. Then we went to Home Depot and had fun picking out flowers for our new pots. When we got home, Claire went down for her nap and Josh and I planted flowers in our six pots that decorate the front of our house. I had no idea what I was doing but we had lots of fun! Here's a picture of 3 of the 6 pots.

Claire woke up and we went to Noodles and Company for lunch and then to Menards to try to find a different sunburst decorative thingie for the front of our house (above the garage). No luck.

When we got home, I painted our front door that was a faded, ugly bluish gray a fun and vibrant red! It took two coats and some TLC.

After painting the front door, I got groceries at Target.

While I was painting, Josh put together the Radio Flyer wagon that Grandma got her for Christmas. When the groceries were put away, I took Claire on a walk around the neighborhood in her wagon. She loved it. I can see lots of fun walks in this for her and Brody!
We topped off the evening with a fabulous dinner of grilled T-bone steak, broccoli, bread, and milk. And I baked chocolate chip cookies. Because why not? If I sat down I knew I would pass out so I had to keep going!

Phew..... so that was our weekend. It was exhaustingly blissful. I just love my little family.

Hope you had a fun weekend too!

A Girl's Gotta Have Girlfriends

Hi everyone. This is Claire. I'm writing my first guest post on my mommy's blog. By the way, I just love how she writes stuff about me on here so we never forget me when I was little.

She's so great!

So after I went to my friend Kiera's first birthday party last weekend I was thinking about what a nice friend she is. All girls need girlfriends, right?

Our mommies and daddies met a long time ago, when me and Kiera were still in our mommy's bellies, at childbirth and parenting class. They clicked right away and kept in touch.

Kiera might be taller than me, but I'm the older one. She was born 9 days after me. I first met her when she was a week old. She had lots to say right away!! This is us the first time we met!

This is us when we were 2.5 months old. Kiera is a great talker- she tells the best stories! I'm usually the listener.

We hung out on Halloween in our costumes. Kiera was a pumpkin and I was a silly monkey. I don't know why our parents made us wear these things!

And this was at her birthday party last weekend! She was more courageous with her cake than I was. I was just glad they weren't laughing at me this time! She got some fun presents. I hope we can play outside with her beach set this summer.

I'm glad our parents are friends! I just wish we could go on walks every week with our mommies this summer, like we did last year. Maybe we still will!

Gotta go to sleep; it's past my bedtime. Goodnight! I love you!

Claire

Thoughts on What Not to Say

I recently read a post on a blog from a family that has adopted three children. The blog was on etiquette- what not to say to adoptive parents. It was enlightening and I read etiquette 'rules' that hadn't crossed my mind before. For example, this adoptive mom said to not say anything regarding "the kid(s) are sooo lucky to have you", because this makes the kids and parents feel like they were rescued/ or did the rescuing.

It got me thinking to some things that people have said to me or others who have struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss. I thought I would share a couple of my ideas of what not to say to these women. Without having gone through it, a very well-intentioned and kind-hearted person can say these things just because they don't know that they shouldn't. So this is my opinion of what you may want to steer away from. Take it for what its worth. :)

1. Maybe it isn't God's will/Maybe this isn't God's timing
Anything to this effect is not helpful and will likely hurt someone's feelings. One in six couples have infertility. For most, infertility comes with a specific medical diagnosis. Without medical assistance, most of these couples would not be able to conceive a child. If someone has a brain tumor, no one would recommend to them to wait it out and see what happens because it must be God's will for them. No, they would treat the tumor. It's the same thing with infertility. I think it should never be assumed that someone with infertility was deemed to not have a biological child by God.

2. Relax and it will happen
This is probably the #1 worst comment. Infertility causes stress. Stress doesn't cause infertility. I was told by a couple people after we announced our second pregnancy that, "See? You just needed to relax and it would happen on it's own". Again, for most, infertility is a medical problem that isn't cured with relaxation. I was just as stressed this winter when baby #2 came into existance as I was the years that we were trying on our own or going through treatments.

3. Adopt and you will get pregnant OR pregnancy cured your infertility
Some people who begin the adoption process do become pregnant but this is definitely the exception, not the rule. Also, being pregnant once (like I was with Claire) doesn't cure infertility.

4. When are you going to have a baby?
This is painful for both women with infertility and with women who have miscarried. I was asked this question many times after my miscarriage and it tore me up each time. You never know what someone is dealing with so it's just safer to stay away from this question all together. If they want to share this personal aspect of their life with you, let them take the lead.

5. To someone that miscarried: At least you know you CAN get pregnant
I got this several times after I miscarried and it hurt me each time. Yes, I know I can get pregnant, but I don't know if my body can support a full-term pregnancy. And to be able to get pregnant but miscarry over and over would be too painful to endure. Fortunately, for me, that wasn't the case, but for some women, it sadly is. I was filled with more fear after my miscarriage then I was beforehand, when I "only" had to deal with infertility.


I genuinely hope this is helpful to someone. People with very good intentions can mistakenly say the 'wrong' things, just by being unaware. The best thing you can do for someone who has infertility or had a miscarriage is to just hug them, love them, and listen to them.

Unexpected Miracles

If you want to make God laugh, tell Him what your plans are.

Oh, how true that is!! Josh and I love being parents. I mean, we love it. We love Claire with a passion that I didn't know existed before. This love makes being away from her all the more heart-wrenching but I know in my heart that the pain is worth it, to experience a love and loyalty and protecting spirit like I do. We were excited to focus our energy and effort on Claire for the next couple years and resume our fertility treatments in July 2011. They would be approx 3 years apart (perfect) and I would (hopefully) be on maternity leave during the spring/summer again (BLISSFUL!!!!!!). I just started a new job, as did Josh, so I would be able to put some focus on that, and we would stabilize for a bit. Yup, that was the plan.

Warning- this could be TMI for some people. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I was fortunate to breasfteed for a year, so my body hadn't regulated itself yet. For a couple weeks I thought I was getting my period (first one since Claire was born). I was bloated in the evening, which wasn't abnormal for me, but I started noticing it didn't go away in the morning. I wondered for a split second if I was pregnant before quickly shaking off that crazy, fleeting thought. A few days later I was at Target and decided to pick up a 3 pack of pregnancy tests. I didn't pick up the 1 pack even though it was $5 cheaper because I figured I would take a test and it would be negative, and then I'd have a couple more for down the road when we were trying again. That night, April 22nd, I went to bed at 10PM and woke up at midnight and didn't go back to sleep for the rest of the night. A million thoughts raced through my mind:

what if I AM pregnant?

Wow, I really do think I AM pregnant!

Wait, if I AM pregnant, what would my new boss think?!

How would I travel internationally this fall for my job?!

How would Josh react??

and on and on it went until 6AM when I decided to finally get out of bed and take the test.

The line indicating pregnant came up even before the control line. There was no squinting or holding the test in many different directions or under different lights to see if there could possibly be the making of a faint, faint line (yes, I did this many times when we were trying to conceive the first time. I even admit to taking apart the test to get a closer look. No lie. Not proud of those moments). Nope, this was a dark, thick line.

Josh was getting ready in the other room and I approached him and said, "I'm pregnant".

He didn't believe me so I had to show him the box and how two lines means pregnant.

One of the first things he said was, "Now you can't make fun of those women on TLC's show 'I didn't know I was pregnant'!!!!".

Thanks, honey. I'm glad your mind is in the right spot.

I had noooooooo idea how far along I was. It was such an odd feeling! With my first two pregnancies, I knew exactly how far along I was. I found out I was pregnant both times at 3 weeks 4 days. 11 days past ovulation. I felt almost like a normal pregnant woman who didn't have to go through pokes and prods and tests and drugs and treatments.

I called my clinic as soon as they opened and asked to schedule an ultrasound.

The woman asked, "Who is ordering this ultrasound?"

I responded, "I am (DUH!)". (The "Duh" was just in my head).

She said I had to have a nurse or doctor order my ultrasound so they would give me a call back.

Twenty minutes later I received the call and talked the situation through with the nurse. I agreed to starting with bloodwork, so they could test the hcG (pregnancy hormone) before moving on to an ultrasound (frankly, I didn't have another choice, with me being the one ordering the ultrasound).

I was fortunately able to get in that afternoon but couldn't get the result until Monday. It was a long weekend of allowing the news to sink in, trying to talk to Josh about it even though he somehow didn't believe the glaringly positive pregnancy test, and wondering how far along I was. I really, really, wanted to tell our friends at Small Group but he wanted to wait until we knew my due date.

It was terrific that I was already home on Monday because I had taken the day off to be with Claire. She had her 1 year doctor appt that morning (which Josh joined; that made me happy!) and afterwards I called for the results of the bloodwork. With my first pregnancy, my first hcG draw (out of 3) was a level of 35. With my second pregnancy, it was 93. The nurse told me my level was 76,000+. I didn't hear what she said after, "seventy six thousand...blah blah blah". WOW! She asked AGAIN when my last period was and I AGAIN repeated, "July 2008. Not very helpful". I was super happy to hear I could get in for an ultrasound that afternoon at 1:30!! After talking to Josh, he arranged so he could come too (he was at work by that point)!

During the ultrasound we learned that I was 11 weeks 5 days along. Holy Moly!!! I missed almost the ENTIRE first trimester!! I really was like those women on TLC's show!! Well, at least I noticed I was pregnant before I went into labor. That has to count for something.

We were on cloud nine and couldn't believe we'd have another baby around November 11th! Claire and this baby will be just over 18 months apart.

We feel so, so blessed. God is so good to us. He spared me from the fear I was all too often consumed with during my first trimester with Claire (mainly due to my previous miscarriage).

While this wasn't in our plan, we understand and believe that God's plans for us are much, much greater than our own. I believe that ALL babies are created intentionally by God and that not a single one is a mistake.

Looking back, I can see some symptoms. I felt nauseaus once in a while, but I always attributed it to car sickness (that lasted hours after I got out of the car). I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch every night for weeks, but I just attributed that to the tiring life of a working mother! The symptom that I most recently realized was most likely pregnancy-related was my serious distaste for meat that lasted a few weeks. I eat meat with almost every lunch and dinner. Since I don't eat cheese, I don't really know how to cook without meat. But for a few weeks in March, I could NOT bring myself to eat meat! I would go to Asian Max (my favorite chinese place downtown) and order my favorite Spicy Basil chicken but then could not force myself to eat it. I explained it to Josh and he said (this is a quote), "if you become a vegetarian, I am going to have to seriously consider if this is going to work out between us". Well, now I know where his ultimatums lie.

It dawned on me recently that many women go through a phase early in their pregnancy where they can't eat meat! At that time, it NEVER crossed my mind that my strong meat-aversion could be due to a pregnancy. Nope, not once.

So, here we are. I am 13 weeks pregnant today. I have a most precious one year old sleeping snugly and safely up in her crib. I have a husband who adores me. And I have a stinky, noisy, naughty puppy cuddling beside me. I am truly blessed.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Psalm 139:5

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14b